And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
