Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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