im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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