remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When are your genitals available?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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