Please, let me fuck your mom
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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