Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
