so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
