Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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