I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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