dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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