whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
