You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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