If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize