it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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