He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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