I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm always down for nudity.
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