just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
