Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
