shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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