So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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