I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
