There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The ass gains better be worth it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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