so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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