Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
