well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm both gender and math confused
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
