I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you win again, gameday.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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