It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
