I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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