her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize