oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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