I'm eating all of the evidence.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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