I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
