Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
