I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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