dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
