Will you blow on my dice?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
