the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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