If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
