the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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