:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
this hospital has no fireball
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
