listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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