What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
