I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
