i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize