I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
