Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her