Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.

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(916): I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time. http://tfl.nu/hsnu

Replies (14) Good night (4300) Bad night (687)
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(951): View more from California

I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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(951): I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it http://tfl.nu/eb7i

Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (3380)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v

Replies (18) Good night (1261) Bad night (6824)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?

(571): View more from Virginia

Fuck you.

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(703): I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right? (571): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/jxij

Replies (13) Good night (4395) Bad night (2035)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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(703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32

Replies (17) Good night (4305) Bad night (2080)
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(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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(804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc

Replies (5) Good night (4560) Bad night (924)
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(207): View more from Maine

He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.

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(207): He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time. http://tfl.nu/24re

Replies (10) Good night (3060) Bad night (973)
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(619): View more from California

Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.

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(619): Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked. http://tfl.nu/uejx

Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (2149)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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(505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu

Replies (15) Good night (4976) Bad night (886)
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(989): View more from Michigan

We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

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(989): We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right! http://tfl.nu/l472

Replies (4) Good night (1651) Bad night (511)
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(630): View more from Illinois

its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it

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(630): its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it http://tfl.nu/8bew

Replies (5) Good night (1151) Bad night (651)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.

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(330): The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it. http://tfl.nu/56k9

Replies (11) Good night (962) Bad night (447)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig

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(270): There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig http://tfl.nu/4pd5

Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (336)
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(813): View more from Florida

The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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(813): The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room. http://tfl.nu/fw34

Replies (19) Good night (448) Bad night (935)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment

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(804): I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment http://tfl.nu/icpn

Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (192)

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