ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just another sign I need to get out of this town

  Fav 25 3164 1096

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

  (818): View more from California

  Punch her baby.

  Fav 59 6880 1365

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (925): View more from California

  can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

  Fav 26 4826 1486

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.

  Fav 20 1337 5762

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

  Fav 10 4261 1367

  share tweet
  

• (415): View more from California

  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

  Fav 7 9411 1572

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.

  Fav 10 2589 1178

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

  Fav 3 1457 791

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

  Fav 3 2531 741

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat

  Fav 5 1319 559

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.

  Fav 2 892 512

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.

  Fav 1 769 321

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...

  Fav 1 341 110

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  You don't want to know. Trust me.

  Fav 1 75 16

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.

  Fav 0 85 2

  share tweet
  

Randomize