Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle

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  (248): i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle http://tfl.nu/q09n
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (1174)
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  (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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  (650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx
  Replies (39) Good night (3942) Bad night (1249)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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  (406): Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns. http://tfl.nu/ywpq
  Replies (42) Good night (6555) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I wish you could order shots online.

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  (573): I wish you could order shots online. http://tfl.nu/guzz
  Replies (10) Good night (4222) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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  (770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked http://tfl.nu/iw27
  Replies (33) Good night (7686) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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  (404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r
  Replies (13) Good night (4332) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

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  (425): My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/7fga
  Replies (18) Good night (7859) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.

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  (440): But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex. http://tfl.nu/ebom
  Replies (10) Good night (4617) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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  (651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt
  Replies (8) Good night (3454) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.

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  (801): I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her. http://tfl.nu/f7hh
  Replies (19) Good night (1522) Bad night (3780)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (3050) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.

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  (325): Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul. http://tfl.nu/ljpv
  Replies (8) Good night (1513) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  But how do I turn off the feelings though?

  (432): View more from Texas

  Vodka.

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  (325): But how do I turn off the feelings though? (432): Vodka. http://tfl.nu/uucy
  Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.

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  (763): There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying. http://tfl.nu/1hl2
  Replies (6) Good night (397) Bad night (847)

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