We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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