This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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