ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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