You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
