i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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