i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
