I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
