he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
