You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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