oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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