i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
