Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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