And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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