It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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