everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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