I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
